The I hate you phase

Is anyone else going through or have been through the “I hate you” phase?

I’m not sure where it even came from, and I feel like it is lasting longer than it should… I’ve tried several things that are just not working for us. No matter what the question is, if the answer is no, not right now, or not what he wants to hear he tells me he hates me. I feel like in my teen years my brothers and I went through a small and short-lived stage where we “hated” our parents but when I say short lived…. that’s what I mean.

What’s happening now is almost unbearable, as a mom of course I feel like a complete failure. My mind is racing constantly with things I need to do for him and what I am currently doing but I still feel somethings that I will never be able to do enough. Autism is really so hard to understand. Why can my precious child smile right at my face and scream “I hate you” in the same breath? We have had weeklong breaks from it here and there but it’s going on over 6 months now and my mama heart is breaking over it.

Am I alone in this phase? Or have others experienced it?